RICH KANE
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CSI LAGUNA BEACH: THE YEAR IN CRAZY CRIME

FRIDAY, JAN. 21:
10:29 p.m. Lots of drama up on Santa Rosa Court, and we’re talking full-on soap opera. A woman calls in and says she was just raped by a man who’s currently locked in a room in the residence. Eventually her story changes—the sex was consensual, not a rape, and she’s just mad that the guy locked her out of the room after they had sex. She then states that the two are thinking about getting married (?!?), that she was upset because he “isn’t nice,” and that ultimately this all stems from her feelings of being hurt because the guy "wanted to go to sleep after sex.”

MONDAY, JULY 4:
11:14 a.m. It’s the Great Laguna Beach Porta-Pottie Near-Disaster of 2011! On this Fourth of July morning, when the population of the city is swelling with tourists by the second, someone calls the police to complain that the portable toilets at Aliso Beach are locked, and if public works doesn’t come and open them up soon, then fireworks won’t be the only thing exploding today.

FRIDAY, AUG. 12:
12:45 p.m. Here’s one for the knee-jerk racism file: Somebody calls the cops because they think they’ve witnessed a theft on Forest Ave. in front of the post office. But you know what, people? Sometimes when you see a black man taking his iPod out of his friend’s Jeep, it’s just a black man taking his iPod out of his friend’s Jeep …

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[DOWNLOAD PDF] CSI LAGUNA BEACH:
THE YEAR IN CRAZY CRIME
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